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Thursday, June 13, 2013

Guest Post: Marie Sumner

Halloween for the Gods

When I was younger I went through an extreme Greek mythology phase.  I became hooked after reading the Odyssey my freshman year of high school (OK so I read the SparkNotes.. don’t judge me).  It’s easy to get lost in Greek mythology. Not only is it somewhat romantic, but it also reflects the sinful side of human nature with displays of power, lust, and deception. In fact, it’s a lot like watching a daytime soap opera (although not quite as pathetic). Perfect specimens of both the male and female body engage in tumultuous relationships that rival anything that we are likely to experience on Earth.

A near decade after “reading” the Odyssey and I’m back on my Greek Mythology kick. I've decided that this time around is going to be much more fun than the last due to the fact that I can actually partake in a few of the godly activities-- namely the parties. Since I’m constantly in Halloween mode, I've been fantasizing about how Greek Gods and Goddesses would celebrate had they ever had the chance. I imagine it would go something like this:

As the king of the underworld, it only makes sense that Hades would be the one to host the festivities. After all he wouldn't even have to rent a venue. His faithful demonic minions would have the underworld decked out in red lighting and there would be a plethora of lady fingers available for refreshments, not to mention whatever Hades would decide to serve on tap. Hades himself would be wearing red horns and a pitch fork.

All of the attendants would also be costume except for Ares, he would just be naked. I’m sure this would be fine with everyone due to the fact that he is basically all that is man and I would let him do terrible things to me.  But really who wouldn't? Despite his frequent sexual encounters with Aphrodite, he would arrive to the party stag and Aphrodite would arrive alongside Hephaestus.

Now, the relationship between Aphrodite and Hephaestus has always baffled me a bit. I mean, how lucky does an ugly bolt maker have to be to snag a chic like Aphrodite?! Not only is he the only God that is unattractive but he is also lame so it just seems like a cruel twist of fate that Zeus would make Aphrodite marry him. Apparently he’s a nice guy but I always thought they finished last... Anyways, the pair would arrive at the party dressed as a French maid and Stephen Hawking, splitting almost as soon as they arrive.
I’m sure you would all agree that ever party needs at least one lush and I can’t think of anyone better than Demeter, the goddess of grain. Dressed as Poison Ivy (from Batman of course!) she would be found frequenting the open bar and doing body shots off of anyone who would be willing to partake. Why would she be dressed as Poison Ivy you may ask? Demeter is not only the goddess of grain but she is also the goddess of all agriculture so all plants are held very dear to her.

Other obvious party attendants would be Apollo, Hermes, Persephone, Zeus, Hera, and Athena. After several games of “flip cornucopia” and “wine pong” they would all take part in a costume contest with Ares, of course, coming out as the winner. The party could continue until Apollo sobered up enough to drive the sun across the Earth and the Gods and Goddesses would begin their walks of shame home.

Author Bio:

Marie Sumner considers herself to be the goddess of dress-up who loves to talk nerdy. When she’s not wearing a toga or reading Shakespeare in Klingon, she writes for the costumes provider, Wholesale Halloween Costumes.


  1. As someone who absolutely adores Halloween and Greek mythology, I can't help but love this post! It's fun imagining what the gods might do for this holiday. In fact, I even wrote a short story once about Ares celebrating Halloween! (He wasn't naked, though, haha.)

    1. Ha, I would love to read that sometime. I also love all Greek myths and Halloween. That's why I thought this guest post was a great idea.